Best way to break up with someone over the phone

You're about to break up with someone over the phone. You dial their number, and wait for them to pick up the phone. Your goal? To go out with style! Say whatever it is you want to say and make a lasting impression. What do you say?

3rd
*beep*boop*beep*bap*bap*...*ring*....*ring*... "Hello?"  Hi, hi, yeah. Say, you know, I've been meaning to tell you, I've got, well, a disease . . . NO! NO! It's not contagious! . . . Yes, it is, and it's very, very, bad. I feel terrible about giving it to you. I know, I know, you have every right to be angry. I understand, yes, you never want to see me again. I don't blame you. Just one last thing though, before we part forever. I hate to leave you feeling like this, so the truth is, I don't have a disease and you're fine. Bye.
beep, boop, beep, bap bap? (looking at my new iphone) Damn... I need a new ringtone. (GF) Hello? (Markie) Hey, it's just me... you off the washing machine we need to talk. I just sent you a file on the iphone... should be there. (Minute later, GF:) I see your ass with scribbles all over it... is that a sharpie? (Markie) Yes. (deep breath) it's hard to write a message on your ass, I tried writting it upside down to make it easier. (GF trying to read what it says) K i s, is that Kiss? (Markie, upset) YES, it is supposed to say KISS MY ASS! I couldn't afford a tattoo. (Click) ...she hung up.
  • 1st
  • markie
Ring brrring...bip..bip.. Hi..just wanted to say I'm not ready to take our relationship to the next level..the whips and chains thing really turned me off...and what's with the stun gun???? leave your message at the sound of the beep.....
  • 2nd
  • soaringwind
Hi, hi, yeah. Say, you know, I've been meaning to tell you, I've got, well, a disease . . . NO! NO! It's not contagious! . . . Yes, it is, and it's very, very, bad. I feel terrible about giving it to you. I know, I know, you have every right to be angry. I understand, yes, you never want to see me again. I don't blame you. Just one last thing though, before we part forever. I hate to leave you feeling like this, so the truth is, I don't have a disease and you're fine. Bye.
  • 3rd
  • Hawkeye
HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *click*
  • 4th
  • grexican

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dmlvrgurl - 1 for telling the truth at the end.
September 16 2009

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Hawkeye
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